Document 01 · Placement office
Adopter Agreement
A plain-language record of the responsibilities associated with welcoming an ordinary rock into your life.
1. Stable environment
The adopter agrees to provide the rock with a stable environment, which the rock will not notice. A desk, shelf, bedside table, garden, or other appropriately still location is acceptable.
2. Reasonable expectations
The adopter understands that the rock will not learn tricks, express preferences, request food, or distinguish weekdays from weekends. The rock's primary contribution is its continued rockness.
3. Dignified treatment
The adopter may name, display, admire, photograph, or gently relocate the rock. The agency asks only that the resident not be claimed to possess feelings, special value, or needs.
4. Return to sanctuary
If the placement is not a fit, rocks may be returned within 30 days of delivery. They will be welcomed back to the Sanctuary without judgment, questions of character, or need for reorientation.
5. Novelty-product acknowledgment
Heart of Stone is a novelty gift business. A physical adoption includes an ordinary rock and adoption materials. Nothing in this agreement creates a custodial obligation beyond common sense.