Intake portrait
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Agnes's file is ready for photography.
Rock Bottom Adoption Agency
Every rock deserves a home.
A real, individually named rock; sincere paperwork; and a placement process that gives gift-giving the gravity it deserves.
Gift messages and delivery dates are available once adoption intake opens.
Intake portrait
Photo Coming Soon
Featured intake
A companion is awaiting their portrait.
Photo
Coming Soon
Our commitment
Small rocks. Big futures.
Every resident is sourced legally from private land with permission, never from national or state parks.
Every placement begins with a name, profile, certificate, and the necessary amount of paperwork.
Available residents
Meet a steady companion.
Intake portrait
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Clive's file is ready for photography.
Intake portrait
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Dottie's file is ready for photography.
Available
Dottie
Dottie brings soft edges and the rare ability to improve a windowsill immediately.
Review fileHow adoption works
A simple process, properly observed.
Whether you give, sponsor, or welcome a rock home, we make the occasion feel official.
- 01
Choose a resident
Read their profile, review availability, or let our placement office match you.
- 02
Select a level of care
Choose sanctuary support, a forever home, or a legacy record with formal documentation.
- 03
Complete the placement
Add gift details when appropriate. Our adoption intake will handle the rest.
Adoption tiers
The right home takes many forms.
Sanctuary Sponsorship
Your sponsored rock remains at the Rock Sanctuary. Receive a digital certificate, profile, and monthly wellness updates.
$8/monthor $79 annually
- Digital adoption certificate
- Monthly wellness updates
- Digital only — no shipping
Forever Home Adoption
Welcome a rock home in a padded adoption box with printed paperwork and a full year of thoughtful check-ins.
$34one time
- Ordinary rock and printed certificate
- Care guide and first-night card
- U.S. shipping included
Legacy Adoption
Everything in Forever Home, plus an extended biography, framed certificate, and lifetime rock record page.
$99one time
- Framed certificate
- Extended life-before-placement biography
- Lifetime rock record
Placement reports
Homes of remarkable stability.
“I gave Agnes to my manager. The certificate is now framed in their office, and morale has remained remarkably stable.”
“Our family was not ready for a pet, but we were ready for Stanley. The adjustment period was brief and quiet.”
“The gift message was handled with the exact level of administrative seriousness I hoped for.”
Gift a placement
For the person who has everything.
A real rock, an official certificate, and a gift message delivered with complete sincerity.